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Showing posts with label Funny Thoughts Quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Thoughts Quotes. Show all posts
Funny Thoughts Quotes
All short quotes and one-liners are automatically sorted by their rank. Hilarious quotes that suck will be deleted, so please vote if you think a funny quote sucks or rocks!
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
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Tags- Funny Quotes, Funny SMS Messages, Funny Thoughts Quotes
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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
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Tags- Funny Quotes, Funny SMS Messages, Funny Thoughts Quotes
BEST INTERVIEW EVER
Interviewer : Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Interviewer : BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!
Candidate : Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it
What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college.
But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I
will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be
related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.
Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.
Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate : No, no... I am talking about Exams!!
Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate : Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.
Interviewer : Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!
Interviewer : Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?
Candidate : Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)
Interviewer : And which languages have you used?
Candidate : Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.
Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate : It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!
Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Interviewer : What is your general project experience?
Candidate : My general experience about projects is - most of th! e times they are in pipeline!
Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.
Interviewer : Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like -
'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate : Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefervUS, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is Olympics coming up in China in the current year, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't
have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS
Tags- Funny Quotes, Funny SMS Messages, Funny Thoughts Quotes
Full Post Here
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Interviewer : BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!
Candidate : Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it
What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college.
But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I
will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be
related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.
Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.
Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate : No, no... I am talking about Exams!!
Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate : Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.
Interviewer : Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!
Interviewer : Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?
Candidate : Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)
Interviewer : And which languages have you used?
Candidate : Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.
Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate : It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!
Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Interviewer : What is your general project experience?
Candidate : My general experience about projects is - most of th! e times they are in pipeline!
Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.
Interviewer : Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like -
'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate : Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefervUS, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is Olympics coming up in China in the current year, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't
have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS
Tags- Funny Quotes, Funny SMS Messages, Funny Thoughts Quotes
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